Queen of Swords

QoS Episode 3: Twin Flames

March 03, 2023 Eva Sawyer Season 1 Episode 3
Queen of Swords
QoS Episode 3: Twin Flames
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

In this episode, we explore the concept of "twin flames" - a term used to describe an intense, soulful connection between two people who are said to share the same soul.

But what are twin flames, exactly? Are they real or just a romanticized myth? And what are the concerns surrounding this concept? Join us as we dive into the world of twin flames, discussing the origins of this idea, its relation to other spiritual concepts, and its implications for those seeking love and connection.

We'll also explore the darker side of twin flames, as we examine how some people have used this concept to prey on vulnerable individuals looking for love and meaning. We'll hear stories of those who have fallen victim to these manipulative tactics, and explore ways to protect ourselves from falling into similar traps.

So, whether you're a believer in twin flames or just curious about this intriguing idea, join us for a thought-provoking discussion on what it means to find your soulmate, and the dangers of those who seek to profit from it. Tune in to Queen of Swords today to join the conversation.

**Please note that there is some mild swearing and discussion of sexual assault**

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Head over to www.queenofswordspodcast.com for the show notes!

  1. Introduction

Welcome to our podcast, where we explore the deepest mysteries of the universe, like why does coffee always taste better on Mondays, and how come we always lose one sock in the dryer? But today, we're tackling a big one: twin flames. What are they, and why are they so hot right now?


Okay, before you think we're talking about pyromaniacs dating each other, let's define what twin flames are. According to the new age playbook, twin flames are two halves of the same soul who were split apart and reincarnated into separate bodies. It's like the ultimate game of hide and seek, but with your own reflection.


Why are twin flames so popular? Well, because they promise the ultimate love story. Think Romeo and Juliet, but with more astrology and fewer poisonings. Twin flames are supposed to complete each other, challenge each other, and uplift each other to the highest levels of consciousness. It's like a spiritual version of 'The Bachelor,' without the rose ceremonies and the embarrassing limo exits.


But like any good love story, twin flames also have their dark side. When two souls merge, it can be intense, overwhelming, and downright crazy. We're talking about telepathic connections, vivid dreams, and seeing signs everywhere, like that butterfly that just landed on your nose. Not to mention the fact that twin flames also trigger each other's shadow sides, bringing up all the past traumas, insecurities, and negative patterns. It's like a spiritual version of 'The War of the Roses,' but without the vase throwing and the chihuahua kidnapping.


So, how do you know if you're in a twin flame relationship? Well, if you feel like you've met your soulmate on steroids, and you're willing to go through the highs and lows of the ultimate love rollercoaster, you might be on the right track. But remember, not every intense connection is a twin flame one, and not every twin flame relationship is meant to last. It's like a spiritual version of 'The Hunger Games,' without the arrows and the dystopian governments.


Or maybe you are in the same camp that I am, and believe that twin flames is the biggest fraud perpetrated on the public by unscrupulous people calling themselves legitimate tarot readers and psychics.


II. What are twin flames? 


What are twin flames, and how do they differ from soulmates? Well, imagine you're at a buffet, and you have two plates. One is labeled 'soulmates,' and the other is labeled 'twin flames.' The soulmate plate has all kinds of delicious options, like compatibility, harmony, and shared values. It's like a spiritual version of 'The Great British Bake-Off. The twin flame plate, on the other hand, has only one option, and it's labeled 'crazy intense connection.' It's like a spiritual version of 'The Fast and the Furious,' but without the cars and the Vin Diesel impressions.

The idea behind twin flames is that they are two halves of the same soul, split into two bodies and sent on a mission to find each other and unite. Why is this mission so important? Well, because twin flames are meant to help each other achieve the highest levels of spiritual growth and transformation. They challenge each other, mirror each other, and push each other to the edge of their comfort zones. But here's the catch. Not all twin flames are ready or willing to do the work. Some of them freak out at the intensity of the connection and run away, like a cat who sees a cucumber. We call them 'twin flame runners,' and they're like the spiritual version of 'The Bachelor' contestants who realize they're not ready for commitment and hop over the fence. Then, you have the 'twin flame chasers,' the ones who can't get enough of the connection and want to merge their souls ASAP. They're like the spiritual version of 'The Bachelor' contestants who propose on the first date and get a tattoo of the lead's face.


III. The “good” of twin flame connections


Let's start with the intense and transformative part. Imagine you're a caterpillar, just minding your own business, eating leaves, and trying not to get stepped on. Life is good, but you have this nagging feeling that there's something more, something bigger, something beautiful. That's when your twin flame shows up, like a spiritual butterfly, and shakes your whole world. They challenge your beliefs, your fears, your self-doubt, and your comfort zones. They make you see yourself and the universe in a new light. But that's not all. Twin flame connections can also bring a deep love and spiritual connection that is hard to describe in words. It's like you're looking into a mirror, and you see not only yourself but also the universe. You feel a sense of oneness and wholeness that you never thought possible. And if that's not enough, twin flame relationships can also be healing and transformative. They can help you work through past traumas and emotional wounds, and they can give you the courage and the strength to face your shadows and your pain. It's like a spiritual version of 'Grey's Anatomy,' but without the surgeries and the McDreamy. 


IV. The “bad” of twin flame connections


Now we'll talk about the bad stuff, the sour grapes of the twin flame tree, the kale of the spiritual pantry. I'm talking about the challenges and difficulties that can come with twin flame relationships, the intense emotional turmoil, confusion, and pain, and the potential for unhealthy attachment and codependency.  Let's start with the challenges and difficulties that can come with twin flame relationships. Imagine you're on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and the waves are getting higher and higher. You're not sure if you're going to make it, but you keep pushing forward. That's what it can feel like when you're in a twin flame relationship. The emotions can be so intense that it feels like you're in the middle of a Category 5 hurricane. You're not sure if you're going to survive, but you keep pushing forward. And it's not just the emotions. Twin flame connections can also trigger each other's insecurities and negative patterns, leading to potential issues like codependency and unhealthy attachment. It's like you're in a psychological tug-of-war, and you're not sure who's going to win. You try to help each other heal, but sometimes you end up hurting each other instead. And if that's not enough, not all twin flame relationships are meant to last. Sometimes the universe brings you together to help you learn a lesson, to help you grow, and to help you evolve. But once that lesson is learned, it's time to move on.


V. Myths And Origins


People are going to argue the mythology and how this culture and that talk about twin souls. In Greek mythology, it is said that humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and two faces. Zeus, fearing their power, split them in two, creating separate beings with the hope that they would spend their lives searching for their other half, their soulmate. Plato is often quoted with one of the best descriptors of the idea, despite never using the official term of “twin flame”: “[When] a person meets the half that is his very own,” he exclaims, “something wonderful happens: the two are struck from their senses by love, by a sense of belonging to one another, and by desire, and they don’t want to be separated from one another, not even for a moment. These are people who finish out their lives together and still cannot say what it is they want from one another. This definition highlights some of the remarkable parts of a twin flame relationship—the chemistry, the intense feelings of love, and the desire to stay by each other’s side always.


In Hindu mythology, the concept of twin flames or twin souls is known as "soul mates" or "twin souls," and it is believed that they are two halves of the same soul, separated at birth and destined to reunite in this life or in a future life. In some Native American cultures, the concept of twin flames or twin souls is known as "twin spirits," and it is believed that individuals who possess both male and female spirits are considered to be twin spirits, possessing the ability to bridge the divide between the physical and spiritual world. 


One theory is that there are 144,000 humans capable of finding their true twin flame (others believe the “144,000” number refers to “memory complexes” containing thousands of souls). But 144,000 is significantly fewer than the 7.7 billion people on the planet. So how do those in the community explain this?Again, there’s no unified front. Many use the number to push the rhetoric that reaching union is rare, and only attainable for the most spiritually developed people. The number 144,000 has its roots in the “Book of Revelation”, and Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that exactly this amount of people will ascend to heaven as immortal spirit beings

VI. Twin Flame Universe


But what I want to talk about is something different, and that has to do with the formation of a money making system called Twin Flame Universe. 

This is where we are going to get a little messy - it’s either going to be really eye-opening or it is going to trigger you (and probably not in a good way) If you are a die hard fan of Jeff and Shaleia then you may just want to skip ahead cause I am gonna be spilling some tea. I am going to tell you now that I am a firm believer in the idea that twin flames are a bunch of horse shit designed to manipulate desperate people and take their money…

The Twin Flame Universe is a business founded by twin flame teachers Jeff and Shaleia Ayan. The business offers courses, books, and coaching services for individuals seeking to connect with their twin flame, with a focus on the idea of "unconditional love" and “surrender. In order to take full advantage of their “teachings” you will want to participate in the classes, workshops, retreats, buy the books, etc. All this will run you about $7000. Then they offer one on one coaching for the low low rate of just $200/hr!

A lot of what I have a problem with is their mirror exercise. The mirror exercise starts with identifying the upset and why it upsets you. For example you might say “I am upset with my twin flame because I feel rejected by him/her because he/she is ignoring me.” But the next part is where you switch things around to point at yourself… like this “I am upset with myself because I feel I am rejecting myself and I am ignoring myself” 

For example, if you are convinced that Brad Pitt is your twin flame, but he just keeps ignoring all your calls and letters…well, that’s your fault. Your fault because you are blocking yourself or are not invested enough in the idea of twin flame union. This bugs me because people with trauma already blame themselves 9 times out of 10. This makes them really easy to target and manipulate because they are already in a position to believe that it is their fault. 

Students paid thousands of dollars for access to Twin Flames videos, and in some cases were coached into violating restraining orders, cutting off their parents unless they sent money, and working long hours for free.

Here’s an example - Beth (not her real name) met a man at a music festival in 2012 and sparks flew. They dated, but eventually this man was ready to move on. That is when things took the path that seems to happen all too often: Beth just couldn’t accept that things were over. The man claimed that she sent threatening messages, relentlessly called him at all hours, and was everywhere that he went - even on a vacation that he took halfway around the world. He eventually got a restraining order - which she violated time and time again until she was arrested. She even tried to call him from jail! Bail for Beth was set at $150,000, and she was charged with 17 counts related to harassing, stalking and violating the restraining order, but soon returned to her Twin Flame classes where Jeff praised her for being brave. And she isn’t the only one to have restraining orders filed.

In May 2018, Anne (not her real name) showed up at her ex’s place and sat outside. “You are mine…just as I am yours,” she wrote him in an email -  He forwarded it to her family. He ended up getting a restraining order.  Around this time, Anne got kicked out of her new apartment. Her plan was to drive, first to a festival in Angels Camp, California, to “introduce the party people to Twin Flames.” Anne barely even needed GPS, she told her Facebook friends: “God tells me where to get gas.” That summer, Anne also cut off contact with her family. “She asked for several thousand dollars from us,” recalled one relative. They couldn’t afford it, and she rejected an offer to come home.

The year after she joined Twin Flames Universe, Anne turned 30. She decided to go dancing by herself at one of her favorite bars. She says she went to leave and spotted her ex outside, and they exchanged words. She went back inside and then the cops showed up. The ex gave his version in court 12 days later: “We happened to run into each other at a nightclub, and I left because I was very uncomfortable with the idea of her being there. And she followed me out of the nightclub and tried to initiate contact there, which is why I called the police. I didn’t want to have to do that.” Anne was charged with stalking and violating a restraining order. She didn’t have bail money. She spent 18 days in jail, where she observed her cellmates had trauma just like hers and tried to coach them. After her family bailed her out, paying $25,000 out of their retirement savings, she says someone at Twin Flames suggested she’d been sent on a mission from God. In a class two months later, Jeff congratulated Anne for having faith in the process, and God, and herself. “It gives me enormous trust in you, when before I had none,” he said. And the problem includes celebrities too. In 2014, Ryan Gosling was granted a temporary restraining order against a woman who reportedly harassed and stalked the actor because she was convinced he was her twin flame.

Jeff and Shale’s company was valued at around $2M in 2019, and the couple lives really well off their teachings. Their YouTube Channel has about 25K followers, Facebook more then 20K. They have a members only Facebook group with almost 40k people in it. They formed their own church in 2020 and consider themselves to be prophets.Jeff has even said that he considers himself to be the “second coming” of Jesus himself and that he“seeks to unify all religion under one spiritual umbrella” Long before COVID-19 turned global communications into a giant video chat, Twin Flames Universe was spreading its gospel and building its own world on Facebook, Google Hangouts, and Zoom. Today, followers order meal plans through Jeff and Shaleia’s start-up, Divine Dish; attend Sunday service at their Church of Union; and “resolve trauma” in Mind Alignment Process sessions. Twin Flames Universe would eventually include a sales team, a media team, vice presidents, HR. It had flexible hours and like-minded colleagues. And then, they started the ultimate in moneymaking endeavors… coaching. Someone who really believed in the system could work for Twin Flames Universe as a coach. Despite promises that a coach could easily make “six figures” several past coaches have said that they made far less. And if you don’t bring in a certain amount of subscriptions then you can lose your coach status just as fast as you got it… making this the equivalent of a romance MLM.


A Vice investigation in 2020 found that the church has a lot of cult like elements to it, including cutting people off from their loved ones and discouraging them from seeking outside care. They have told people “ your body is the extension of your mind. Your mind creates your body - not food, exercise or medical care” At one time they claimed that by finding union that you could cure PTSD and even cancer - but after a backlash those claims were removed from their website. If a student claims to know a couple in union outside the community they are told that this isn’t possible - that you will not find your happiness with anyone outside the group.

And don’t you dare question what they are teaching. If you express concerns about any aspect you are told that “to deny Jeff and Shalias word is to deny the word of God and throw away your only chance at happiness”. If you question how you can’t afford the program, you are told that you just don’t love yourself enough. Days after VICE published an investigation into the workings of Twin Flames Universe, its leaders sent out a letter to ex-members threatening life-ruining consequences for speaking out about family separations, unpaid labour, and a host of other cult-like practices. The letter goes on to describe an invasive investigation process, including subpoenas, extraditions, private detectives, and financial paralysis. “Bankruptcy means it is nearly impossible for you to rent an apartment, rent a room, and even apply for a real world job,” reads part of the letter. “We will not only engage the legal system to take you to court for civil and criminal activities, (your criminal activities will land you in jail) we will hire private investigators to come after you and investigate you.” Over a dozen people got the letter, and not one of them retracted their statements. Twin Flames Universe also threatened to sue VICE over their investigation, saying that VICE had been “scammed” into false accounts by a former student with an agenda for a rival spiritual coaching business, although that business never seems to be mentioned anywhere. They even went so far as to say: “This is the same way Hitler treated Jews during the Holocost (sic),” reads part of the email. “You sought to control the story and fabricate an insane, hellish lie which would benefit your career and the agenda of a small hate group rather than report on reality.” 

They may even insist that you are not finding your twin flame because you are the wrong sex. At least 5 women who were in the program who refused to transition were booted and blocked for denying being a divine masculine. Several people were pressured to take on new names and new pronouns. In many ways this erases gay and lesbian identities and forces them into one of two strictly defined ideas of gender.

There are a lot of people in pain in the Facebook group. One woman had been raped and was struggling with anger. A man was telling her she must forgive or she cant be with her twin. Another said she had chosen her experience. According to many in the twin flame community, unless you are with your twin you must be broken/misaligned/not worthy, and there is no place where that idea shines through more then in the group. On any given day there are at least two or three posts of people that are depressed, hopeless, and sometimes even in the middle of a mental health crisis. I have heard rumors that one person from the group committed suicide because their twin flame didn’t want anything to do with them. I find it interesting that as of today, there are no less then two dozen people that I regularly spoke to who are no longer a part of the group.


The thing that blew me away more then anything else in their program was this blog post from their website, regarding what you should do if your twin flame is married.

“ If you are married, or your twin flame is married - you just have to go for it! You can’t walk on this planet, and know who they are and not be together. It is selfish not to free up the spouse to seek their own twin flame. As long as you are happy and in love, it’s going to benefit the kids and be wonderful. A divorce will be a simple positive experience for everyone involved. So dissolve that marriage! Don’t worry about that spouse! A twin flame union trumps a non-twin flame marriage. You are NOT a homewrecker - you are divinely supported.”

Their goal is to be both the wealthiest couple on the planet and the king and queen of a new world order, which they proudly boast about. They want money and allegiance. They fake nice; however, their true nature comes out when things don’t go their way. If you disagree, if you don’t bring in enough clients, if you fail to pay, you will be verbally assaulted and often threatened with expulsion.  They make it very clear that money is their goal. Superficial things are important (car, makeup, buying gifts, five star reviews...) They also need to make clear that THEY are important (not only are they in a special perfect relationship, but also prophets of god?! Here on earth for you! How lucky of us! How important of them!)


Interestingly enough, for company that promises union with your twin flame, there have been very few couples in “harmonious union” to be found.  Where are all the success stories? 


VII. Damage and Dangers

The damage that this movement does is astronomical. Just in my OWN experience, never mind that of other readers and psychics I have seen the following:


  • A woman who refused to leave an abusive marriage, even after black eyes and broken bones because someone told there that her husband was her twin flame.
  • A woman who was literally stalking a man that she claimed was her twin flame, and then tried to explain that it was ok because of the twin flame connection to pursue him - to the judge no less!
  • A woman that believed that a co-worker was her twin flame (even though they were not seeing each other) so completely that she divorced her husband, left her kids behind….only to find out that this co-worker had no interest in being with her.


Time and time again I see people that are allowing toxic behavior, chasing people who don’t want to be with them, or just deluding themselves in general. Nothing short of the Cinderella or Snow White tales, the myth would have you believe the twin flame relationship as the most fulfilling relationship on Earth, which comes with sacred sex, spiritual super powers and a happily ever after ending. Yet, in this twin flame community, they explain that there is usually a ‘runner’ in this reunion. They tell you the other person is scared or not ready. The worst part about this is the person who believes the other person is their twin flame will put up with all sorts of emotional and spiritual abuse from the person in question. They believe that if they are just patient enough and put up with enough bullshit the soul in question will return to them and the magic list of twin flame benefits will activate, basically fixing everything. And the cycle goes on and on with a never-ending search for this magical partner, delivering enlightenment. Here’s how it usually happens: we meet someone and instantly know it is significant. We – either on our own or with the help of a psychic reader – identify someone as one of these relationship categories – twin flame, soul mate or karmic relationship in our heads. We attach stories and expectations onto the person whose soul is so very familiar to us, and then we are upset when that person doesn’t want to participate at the depth we expect or vice versa. We or they choose to either wait around for the other person to have an awakening and continually put up with their abuse, hanging onto some small amount of hope that they will realize the relationship. Or, we jump from person to person, hoping this one will finally be it. Either way it becomes an addiction, a huge distraction from the soul’s journey and especially detrimental to the self-actualization process, should that be your choice in this life.


But the belief in twin flames and soulmates promotes a love that is limited to only one partner. This love is also conditional, for we will love someone as long as they fulfil the criteria that we believe our twin flame or soulmate should have. But if anyone doesn’t fulfil those criteria, we do not allow ourselves to be fully loving towards them. This conditional and limited form of love is always very intense, with many emotional ups and downs. Because you have associated your happiness with someone or something outside of yourself, you will be happy when they fulfil your expectations, but unhappy when they do not fulfil your expectations, and the love you have towards them will be dependent on how happy you feel around them.


I get it, everyone wants to love and BE loved. But chasing after this idea is a lot like chasing a unicorn. You’ll get tired, discouraged and disappointed - and is that any way to live your life? Work to love yourself FIRST and the right person WILL come along. Someone that is not a “half” of a soul, but someone that is whole and fulfilled themselves. That is the only way you can have a relationship that is full and complete. Also, don’t make the mistake of letting your biological clock do all the talking for you - the right relationship can’t be rushed, and if you are devoting all your time to some mythic ideal, you are going to miss the right person.


True love is unconditional and unlimited. It is not intense but peaceful. There are no highs and lows, but instead, true love is a constant permanent state. In this state, you love yourself, you love everyone else, and you love life itself. It doesn’t matter who the other person is or what they do or say, you will love them. And because you love yourself, you do not rely on others to feel happy, whole and complete. Your happiness will no longer be tied to people or things outside of yourself. True love is unconditional and unlimited. It is not intense but peaceful. There are no highs and lows, but instead, true love is a constant permanent state. In this state, you love yourself, you love everyone else, and you love life itself. It doesn’t matter who the other person is or what they do or say, you will love them. And because you love yourself, you do not rely on others to feel happy, whole and complete. Your happiness will no longer be tied to people or things outside of yourself. 


VI. Conclusion

Twin flames is an idea that is ready made for the digital age where dating has become an algorithmic pursuit. Articles on Goop and Allure and Elite Daily have framed the idea of twin flames as an antidote.  It is something that celebs talk about and apps like Tik-Tok are full of people peddling it. If you believe in twin flames that is fine for you, but realistically what are the chances of finding this mythical being on a planet of 7.5 billion people and the two of you being in the same place at the same time? Don’t chase someone who doesn’t want to be with you - they are not “scared of their feelings” or just not ready - they are NOT INTERESTED. We’ll dig into this a little more in our next episode when we talk about what men wish that you knew. Learn to be confidant and love yourself, and things will happen as they are meant to Be realistic with your expectations, and stop chasing a fantasy. Understand what a healthy relationship should look like and know when to walk away otherwise all you are going to do is drive yourself crazy and make yourself miserable.…. I strongly believe that twin flames is an idea that is designed to prey on people’s insecurities and drain their wallets… and it won’t be long before the next “big thing” in the new age community comes along.


Introduction
What Are Twin Flames?
The "Good" of Twin Flames
The "Bad" of Twin Flames
Myths and Origins
Twin Flame Universe
Damages & Destruction
Wrap Up